The Reason Why
by BlueFae
Summary: RPF Chris let slip that Darren has a girlfriend. Darren is not pleased about this but was Chris' slip as unintentional as some may think? Onesided! CrissColfer


_Hello, I'm ItsumoAoi the author over here :)_

_So, I started writing this in favor of paying attention to my sociology lesson. This is an idea that has been mulling around in my brain since the Darren Criss girlfriend!alert to the world. Although I have to admit, the conclusion to this fanfiction is not one that I originally intended – it wrote itself! Yet, I may however have to write another fic 'based' off of the same theme but with preferably the ending that my (fangirling) mind sees fit. (aka, smut all round)_

_I hope that you enjoy and please feel free to give constructive feedback and criticism where you see necessary. I am my own beta so if I have made any mistakes, please be sure to let me know. _

_Thank you, ItsumoAoi x._

_Disclaimer: I do not own Darren Criss or Chris Colfer as much as I would adore to. Also any other affiliates (I don't think that there are any) do not belong to me and i take no credit for any of them._

_**The Reason Why**_

Darren was to simply put it, furious. Regardless as to the fact of whether such feat was accidental or otherwise he was positively irate. How could Chris have done this? He knew full well as anybody of Darren's intentions to keep his personal and work lives as separate and as far apart as possible. An intention proved most logical as shown in the evidence post aforementioned stroke.

The fact that the world now knew of Darren's 'secret' love life appeared to be taking a turn for the worst and whilst a majority of his albeit slightly more sane fans were coming to terms with the revelation and the accepting of it as the truth; an equally, if possibly, larger amount of fans seemed to be denying this as any form of truth and were attacking not only himself but his girlfriend with hatred filled tweets, messages and the like. He was sick of it. He himself was able to stand the anguish and annoyance of fans but not all are quite so strong and his girlfriend had been taking a more pessimistic turn on the recent attention she was receiving from eccentric Darren Criss fans.

Darren had thusly deduced in his anger filled mind at this prospect that this was entirely to the fault of one Chris Colfer. One sentence from that boys mouth whether accidental or not had sent the usually chipper Darren into a whirlpool of tangled and frustrated emotions. The main one of reoccurrence being the constant desire to strangle his younger co-worker.

Having reached the end of his unusually lengthy patience, Darren had come up with the conclusion that he at least needed to make Chris aware of the pent up frustration and torture he was being forced to endure. Also, he needed to know of what Chris' intentions were had the words not just been a slip of the tongue. After having reached this conclusion he made his was towards his car pulling out his phone and shooting Chris a text as to his impending arrival.

Driving through the rain Darren sat grinding his teeth and trying to actually come to terms with what he was going to do and what he was even going to ask Chris anyway seeing how this 'confrontation' was rather a spur of the moment thing as compared to a planned and thought out, rational move.

The road outside was dark as he twisted around the roads devoid of traffic and only the roar of the engine and downpour of the rain attempting to calm his angered breath. Upon reaching Chris' apartment he stormed out of his car into the rain still wearing his flip-flops having been in such a rush to belt out his emotions onto the poor unsuspecting boy he had forgotten all common sense.

He rapped on Chris' door his brown curls sodden from the thunder outside and was greeted by a wide eyed and clearly confused Chris Colfer clad only in sweatpants and a t-shirt his bangs free from product and still damp from his recent shower. Taking in his co-workers disheveled appearance he ushered him quickly inside.

'Darren, my god. Are you okay? You must me freezing. What's wrong? You said you needed to talk to me, I was so worried.' The boy gushed out running to fetch a towel from his bathroom for the soaked man.

Darren, stepping into the apartment made the again irrational decision of instead of waiting to sort out his emotions took the moment to take all of his pent up frustration on Chris in one blast.

'Why? Why Chris, why on earth did you do that? Was it an accident? Was it on purpose? I don't understand; am I that lousy a friend that you wanted to punish me that much?' He could feel tears welling up and his eyes reddening, his throat hoarse he looked expectantly at Chris for an answer, his fists clenched by his sides restraining the need to punch something. The towel Chris offered him left, forgotten on the floor.

Chris stood there shell-shocked, never having seen his dark haired friend quite so angered before. Yet Chris was still confused, unaware quite as to what he had done to cause such damage.

'W-what?' he stammered, his shock evident upon his face. 'What did I do? What do you mean 'lousy friend'? You're brilliant, amazing! Hell, you're totally awesome' he added in the attempt of adding some humor to the situation or at least in an effort to calm Darren somewhat.

Darren took deep breaths to try and steady his voice and thoughts 'Did you do it on purpose?' he asked slowly and clearly 'When you told that interviewer about my personal life. The life that you know I try so hard to keep separate from my work.'

He sighed, exasperated and collapsed his body onto the couch in Chris' living room. Looking up he saw Chris with his lithe arms crossed over his body lightly hugging his chest, the usually sarcastic smirk etched upon those lips poised for many a comeback, slowly cracking. Darren could see the tears starting to well in the younger mans eyes and the realization dawned upon Darren that he'd obviously hit a nerve during his need to let out his frustration.

He let out a sarcastic snort in disgust at the boy. 'So it wasn't an accident then' he stated. His voice cracking as he affronted the slightly taller man standing before him. 'Why, Chris? Please, just let me know the reason why.'

Sniffing away the tears threatening to fall, Chris stood, shaking with silent sobs before lowering himself to sit on the floor avoiding all eye contact with Darren reaching out to hug a cushion to his chest. After what seemed like hours, the tense atmosphere almost suffocating the two men; Darren hanging his head in his hands whilst Chris struggled with himself in an internal battle as to whether to let out the truth behind his actions or not.

'I was jealous' the younger man finally managed to blurt out.

Darren's head whipping up from its resting position of his hands eyes wide, incredulous. His brain still slowly trying to process this new found information.

'You were jealous of my relationship? That I have someone and you don't.' he spat out 'So decided to try and ruin that on purpose. I never even dreamed that of you Chris, of all people, could be that selfish.' He rasped out exasperatedly. However Chris' reaction to this speech was not really one that he would have expected.

'That's not what I meant' the boy voiced.

Darren looked at him in shock, his thoughts still not rational, blurted out 'What do you mean by 'jealous' then?

Chris was crying by this point finally giving way to the tears that had been threatening to fall since Darren had first burst into his home that evening. His mind struggling again with the inner turmoil of his mind. If he answered the truth as to the pre-asked question then his friendship with Darren had the potential to be demolished as soon as the words left his mouth.

Chris decided against better reason and found himself whispering out 'I was jealous of her. I am jealous of her.' He finally took the courage to look up at Darren's face which was simply a picture of confusion.

He looked at Chris incredulously as if to ask him to continue. He needed to understand what was going on in Chris' mind and why he would do something that would have such a negative effect on the older man. I just wasn't fair and Darren felt like he deserved and explanation at least.

'Please don't make me say it, Darren' Chris whispered 'It hurts enough to just have to admit it to myself.'

'Chris', Darren replied. His tone irritated awaiting the younger boys impending response. 'I deserve and explanation if nothing else.' He demanded.

Chris remained sitting for a few minutes once again battling with his self as to the consequences of the truth and slowly rose from his place on the floor across from the shorter man. His eyes glistening welled with unshed tears. After what seemed like an agonizing amount of time Chris was standing in front of Darren again seriously judging the consequences of the next action he took. Chris reached out and lightly cupped the sides of Darren's face in his palms and quickly yet delicately pressed his lips against the older mans. Chris took his time to revel in the moment as short as it may have been in reality it felt for him as if hours had gone by no matter how clichéd that seemed. Withdrawing from the kiss almost as soon as it had begun, Chris found himself regretting the action. He now wanted nothing more than to press his lips there once again only this time with more fever and to run his fingers through his co-workers luscious dark locks and have his way with the man. Kissing him whilst had been an attempt as an explanation and apology rolled into one had only made the younger man want Darren even more and he wasn't sure how much longer he could cope like this.

The tears in Chris' eyes were beginning to give way, backing away slightly from the shorter man he lowered his eyes to the floor in a desperate attempt to avoid looking at Darren whispering an apology repeatedly that was beginning to sound more like mantra not realizing that his tears had finally let way until he felt the wet droplets passing his lips and falling silently to the floor.

Darren blinked at the boy in a state of shock before the recognition of the taller mans actions he found himself blurting out the first coherent thought that appeared into his mind rasping out in his shock 'Why didn't you tell me?'.

Chris let out a sarcastic laugh trying to rein in his hysteria before glancing up at the man in front of him placing an angered smirk on his face 'Are you serious, Darren' they boy asked incredulously. 'Yes, of course, imagine that conversation. 'Hello there Darren, my painfully straight co-worker. I just thought I'd let you know, I'm in love with yo-' Chris quickly covered his mouth in shock at the words he'd mistakenly let slip. Darren wasn't supposed to know that, he cursed to himself under his breath his already flowing tears becoming heavier and more frequent the before as he once again began to let off a string of mumbled apologies.

Darren it appeared though was just as shocked by the younger mans confession as he was himself his eyes bogging slightly in a doubtfully attractive way but he had no strength to bring himself to care at all. 'You're in love with me?' the older man began in a somewhat strangled voice not quite sure what else needed to be said he looked up at the beautiful pale skinned boy his glasz eyes wide and shimmering with the tears he was shedding. The boy who had just, albeit unintentionally confessed his love for the dark haired man. Darren was unsure of what to do next so he did nothing he just sat and watched as the man in front of him slowly broke down, his legs trembling as if they were to give out at any moment his shoulders shrugging from his silent heart wrenching sobs and his lips. The lips that had not minutes ago been pressed against his own, melding the two men into one being even if only for a second. Darren watched as those very lips repeated over and over again a mantra of apologies, begging the older man for forgiveness against his actions and affections. It hurt Darren to see Chris so broken and to know that he had been the cause of this utter picture of despair before him made him feel as if his heart had been ripped out of his body and was being stepped on in punishment. He was so riddled with guilt that he felt compelled to at least _try_ to rectify the situation. Raising himself from Chris' couch he rushed over to the boy and enveloped him in a bruising hold against his chest. An action that in different circumstances would have made Chris' heart leap at the mere thought of being so close but now it was merely worsening his need and desire only to break his already mangled heart. The slightly taller boy pushed the other away gently not being able to stand the close proximity of the two looking at the older man and saying that he should not says anything that he didn't mean to the boy and that he should never even begin to try and apologize. Chris knew there was no way to force someone to love you yet he did not believe that Darren should have to apologize for not reciprocating his feelings that simply wasn't fair to try and manipulate the boy because of something he was unable to control.

Darren felt heartbroken as he looked at the boy although knowing that Chris would not want him to take sympathy on him, he felt that he needed to let Chris know that he didn't begrudge him for any of the evenings events. 'Chris,' he started out his voice shaking, 'please stop apologizing, please never apologize for having love in your heart. You know as well as I that it's something that no one can control. I want you to know, I'm sorry that I can't reciprocate your feelings and I think you already know that but, Chris, you don't deserve me. You could do so much better off-' He was going to continue but he saw Chris' face change as he spoke and felt that anymore said would have made the poor boy break, if possible, more so.

Chris tried desperately to gather his emotions and heart up off the floor as he turned to face the dark haired man. He let out in a breath as steady as his broken heart would allow him 'Could you please leave, Darren?' before turning to look once again at the floor not knowing for how long he would be able to look into the older boys face without hitting something. The older boy nodded slightly giving Chris a small smile as he walked through the apartment and left disappearing into the still heavy rainfall outside.

It was at this moment that Chris finally lost it. He collapsed into a heap on the floor of his living room. He thought about Darren's eyes and how hurt they looked when Chris had told him to leave, when Chris had pushed him away. Those gorgeous caramel brown eyes that he had dreamt about so dearly. Those eyes that would keep in constant contact with his own as their owner made love to him or those dark brown curls that fell across the man's brow. How Chris has wished so arduously to run his hands through the rich locks holding his head against his in a fever to keep their lips locked and their tongues entwined with each others. He had often wondered if such locks were as soft as they looked or how the man would taste. Chris would do anything if only he could run his tongue along the expanse of his muscular neck thinking of how Darren would taste and how the soft skin would feel across the warm appendage. And it hurt; it hurt to see Darren standing there so beautiful and so perfect yet never, ever his. Never for more than the second in which they had been connected in a sweet, innocent, child-like kiss. How was it possible for something so harmless to hurt so much? It just didn't seem fair. Chris had only though that maybe if, just maybe he were able to tear Darren and his girlfriend apart the Darren would see the younger mans love for him. Chris was unable to even understand himself quite why he was so incapable of being happy for the man that he supposedly loved. He should be able to, like in all clichéd romance novels and films be happy for the other man and allow him to live his own life freely without hindrance. He didn't understand why it was so hard for him to comprehend that the older boy didn't love him and felt like he wanted to curl into a ball and sob his heart out over the overused tragedy of falling for a straight man.

Half of Chris' body wanted to run outside after Darren and drag him back to the sanctuary from the rain inside his apartment yet he couldn't. His body refused to move from its rooted spot. And yes, he did cry, he threw his hands to cup his face as he curled his body around himself screaming in frustration at his own stupidity repeating a mantra of 'I love you's' in his head whilst thinking only of Darren's perfectly chiseled face.

As Darren made his way out to his car running through the torrent to rain he thought of nothing but the look of despair upon his younger friends face. When in his car he rested his head on the steering wheel reminiscing over the nights events. The accusation, the kiss, the confession. The events muddled in his head like a whirlpool. Darren was beginning to wonder how on earth he hadn't realized or even noticed Chris' feelings before. He knew the boy was an amazing actor but there are some things that even masks are unable to hide. This lead Darren to wonder as to whether any of the other cast or crew members knew of Chris' feelings towards his shorter co-worker. A thought he soon silenced in favor of turning on the stereo in a feeble attempt to drown out the evening's prior events letting the music be a source for him to channel him emotions into. It was late and he needed to sleep, informing himself that he would figure out this mess of emotions and turmoil at a later hour when he would be certainly more awake and hold a slightly more logical reasoning in this mind. But until then at least he know knew the reason why.

Fin.~

_Oh my Good God, am I glad that's over with? Or is it? I am fully open to the suggestion of continuing this fic if anybody thinks it deserves to be continued. Please let me know in reviews or comments. Also! I know that my writing style is an absolute epitome of terrible, sorry for this. Please feel free to leave you views and comments, any constructive criticism is deeply appreciated. I hope that you enjoyed this._

_Thank you, ItsumoAoi. x._


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